The Page with the amusing bits from The Bogey Golfer's World.
2nd August
Toy Boys
Delta Goodrem and her new Toy Boy Nick Jonas have taken up golf, the pair enjoying a round in LA on the weekend. Wearing matching get up, the 10 year age gap clearly didn't worry Goodrem, seemingly happy to be dating a guy who's still in high school, and living with his parents. Jonas has not commented directly on his Mrs Robinson style relationship, but has stated that he's "in a really good place and feels blessed".....no doubt.
28th July.
Fashion Faux Pas.
On a recent trip to play some stunning golf courses on the NSW central coast, Bogey was subjected to some shocking fashion experiments by one of his playing partners.
The player, who's identity we will protect........ lets call him Channell, is developing a reputation in golfing circles for pushing the boundaries of acceptable fashion, and music. The shoes he chose to wear on the particular night in question were obviously salvaged from the local vinnies clothing bin, and worn in a desperate attempt to attract attention.
Although open to new looks, shoes stolen from nursing homes just aren't acceptable.
14th July
Australian Golf Addict Poll Results
Previous
How Many Strokes is a Good Caddy Worth?
Taking the Driver
Australian Golf Addict Poll Results
We asked, "What course would you like Bogey Golfer to review next?" The results are: Cabramatta Golf Club 7%, Bonville International & MacArthur Grange 21%, The Links Shell Cove 51%.
Bogey will be reviewing The Links soon.
How Many Strokes is a Good Caddy Worth?
Years of watching golf tournaments, both on TV, and on the course, has led to the question, in terms of actual strokes, what’s a good caddy worth? Your average hacker now has access to an array of tools, laser distance markers, GPS, rangefinders etc, but are they really any substitute for an experienced caddy? In reality, probably not. When it comes to course management, green reads, and subtle moral support, it’s hard to go past a good caddy!
Playing new courses regularly, Bogey has found himself all at sea when it comes to green reads, local knowledge, water hazards, distances off the tee, the list goes on. A caddy would carry the burden on all of these issues, allowing you to concentrate on what matters most...your game. Caddies can also "keep you in the zone" when mentally, you're completely shot, or you’re tempted to risk that punch shot through the trees, when a chip onto the fairway would probably suffice. The caddie is the counterpoint to that voice in your head chirping "you have no ability", " is there a reason you hit that shot?" and "wish I took up lawn bowls" all discussions for your caddie’s ears only.
Although a must for all pro golfers, Bogey feels that a good caddy could potentially save your average hacker close to 6 – 7 shots.
The Bogey Golfer had the pleasure of attending the last tournament Tiger Woods won, the Oz Masters in 2009. The scene was set, the final day of play, Wood's on the 15th, prodding his bag, unsure, uncertain...should he risk the driver? "Hit the driver... you're the man" - suggested the Bogey Golfer to Woods. He nodded, and the rest is history!
Tiger, taking club selection tips.
Celebrity Golfers
Who are the Hollywood wankers that can actually play? We have composed a list of those that can, and those that we respect that play anyway.
- Dennis Quade - 1 h (Has improved from 4 in a few months)
- Thomas Gibson - 4 h (Dharma and Greg fame)
- Matt Craven - 4.4 h (Assault Precinct 13)
- Chris O'Donnell- 4.5 h (Shocking campy costume in batman, but drills them)
- Samuel L Jackson - 4.9 h (Most improved)
- Mark Wahlberg - 7 h (The author's Pick)
- Hugh Grant - 7 h (A member of the UK's Finest course Sunningdale)
- Jack Wagner - 1h (Old Soap Star's don't rate)
- Kevin Dillan - 7.7 h (Drama!)
- Luke Wilson - 7.9 h (Plays Bel Air with Pete Sampras)
and those that don't make the top 10.
At a charity event last year at the Lakes Golf Club in Sydney, A radar gun was placed on the 1st to measure ball speed off the tee. The bogey smashed a 153km/h tee shot with an old Taylor made R5 to come in at no 6 on the board, and his playing partner, and colleague, could only manage to dribble a 121km/h tee shot off the tee in reply. A pitiful effort considering the tournaments draw card celebrity female golfer, Samantha Armitage, drilled one at 122km/h.
Adam Scott's Groupies
The Bogey Golfer watched the Australian Open at the Lakes this year, and, although a big fan of Geoff Ogilvy, was forced to follow Adam Scott, as his lovely wife was in tow. Little golf was discussed, and the talk was generally centered around Scott's "delightful curly hair, big green eyes, and tight abs." What could have been a pretty special day watching big Geoff march to victory, was further tainted when Scott autographed the Bogey's favourite Callaway hat in black magic marker, after lending it to his wife for the sole purpose of sun protection.
Adam Scott ruins another good hat.
Aussie's and the US Masters.
A stellar finish to this year's US Masters saw 3 Aussies finish in the top 10, and right up until the last minute, it seemed either Adam Scott or Jason Day may win, the 2 eventually finishing equal second. The icing on the cake for Day, must have come in the form of a congratulatory phone call from The Great White Shark, Greg Norman. The Shark knows how it feels to finish runner up at the Masters, his 96 meltdown was the most famous of his Masters appearances, for all the wrong reasons. So awful was Norman in that final round, one feels that Day could have scored better, in a similar position, had he gone around the whole course with nothing but a putter and 9 iron in the bag.
Ricky Ponting to become pro golfer?
Word around the campfire is that Ricky Ponting is a gun golfer. So good is Ponting, that Gary Player who had a hit with Ponting in Spain before the Laureus World Sports Awards, and had no idea who he was, told him: "The way you hit the ball, you're wasting your time playing cricket." Former Australian Captain, Mark Taylor, describes a round he played with Punter at the Capital Golf Club in Melbourne. Taylor states, "that course is tough, he played off the back tees alongside Aaron Baddeley and had a par round. I nearly had a hundred off the stick. Ricky wouldn't have too much time to play these days - even less than before, I would imagine - but, if he put the same amount of time into his golf that he puts into his cricket, he'd definitely be a chance to be a pro". One has to wonder if the current Australian Captain has the same ability as Ponting? The answer we suggest would be an emphatic NO.
Fashion Statements
Bogey has the pleasure of playing with golfers from all walks of life, but cant help but notice fashion now plays a big part in the game. Of particular note, a member of his regular foursome with a taste for fluorescent hats, and a young gun who shows up from time to time with skin tight whites, and pinks, if he is in the mood. Whats the key to golf fashion, and how much thought do you put in? Email us at (ozgolfaddict@gmail.com)
Alcohol and Golf
The Bogey Golfer has been of the opinion that the beers are better after the round, and that booze on the course is specifically the domain of the bogan. Attending a corporate day at QLD's Pelican Waters recently, with an esky in the back of the cart full of beers, Bogey was on fire, winning longest drive and closest to the pin. Is this the result of playing under the influence? Email us your stories relating to the demon drink, can it improve your game? (ozgolfaddict@gmail.com)
Charles Barkley has the worst swing in golf
If you need a lesson on how not to swing a club, just take a look at former NBA superstar Charles Barkley on YouTube. Quite possibly the worst attempt at a golf swing ever. The question needs to be asked, how a man with such natural sporting ability is such a rubbish golfer?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s50K65PNeBU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s50K65PNeBU
Planking the Latest Fad
The latest online fad known as Planking is taking Australia by storm. So much so, that the authorities have now issued warnings about the dangers surrounding the practice. One would feel its only a matter of time before there is legislation released banning it. Although not condoning the practice it can be an excellent way to get a read on a putt.
Was Bin Laden a Golfer?
The death of Osama Bin Laden has had a profound effect on the so called "war on terror" but a seldom mentioned issue in his demise was the terror kingpin's love of the game. A regular player in the Saturday comp at the Kabul par 3, his game went into decline post 1990 as war began in Afghanistan, his handicap apparently blowing out to 32.
Musings on Tiger
The very public downfall, of arguably the world's premier sportsman, has had the whole world talking. Is Tiger Woods the best athlete of his generation? Or just an arrogant dickhead who loves slumming it with Vegas cocktail waitresses? Bogey cant help but think of the famous line from the life of Brian when discussing big Tiger, which sums it up really " He's not the messiah, he's just a very naughty boy"
We all know what a quality, beacon of journalistic integrity, Channel Nine's flagship ACA is. Does anyone, besides angry divorced 50 year old women, actually give a damn about another interview with The Shark's scorned ex wife Laura Andrassy? Apparently yes. For the third time in the space of a year, ACA wheeled out Laura Andrassy. Her new source of income appears to come primarily from public bleatings on that jerk the Shark, the home wrecker Chris Evert, and the good life post Shark. The title of the interview reads "See the house that the shark built" - spare us all anymore of this cringe worthy TV, and please move on Laura.
