The forum that allows the Bogey Golfer an outlet. He unloads on anything that's pushing his buttons from around the golfing world.
Driving Range Dickheads
Another non Golfer Hogs the Range.
June 30th, 2011
An Over Booked Course!
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| Another queue on a typical weekend at an unnamed Sydney golf course! |
Traditionally a Sydney phenomenon, the over booked course is becoming standard occurrence when playing anywhere in, or near Sydney! Golf in Sydney is now almost pointless, unless you are a member, enjoy bird watching, or bring a chair to use between holes...a sad state of affairs.
Playing a well known eastern suburbs track on the weekend, and taking the time to make a booking, Bogey was then subjected to the most tedious, time wasting, patience sapping round of golf played since the 1991 back nine at the Par 3 Teven track, west of the Big Prawn in Ballina NSW.
A 4½ hour nightmare through nine, became a study in anger management. Following two of the most oblivious, poorly dressed, obnoxious, talentless Irish illegal’s ever seen on a golf course outside of Kilkenny, most of the front nine was spent sitting on the grass. Note to courses in Sydney, if patrons arrive late, drunk, wearing thongs or carrying bags that look like arrow quivers, why let these dickheads play?
Previous Rants
Spectator Tourettes - Is there a cure?
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| Spectator Tourette sufferers dress in disguise to avoid verbal abuse from other fans! |
Bogey Golfer is a lot of things, but one thing is for sure, he is NOT a psychologist! He is not even a medical professional of any discipline. But lately Bogey has identified a new mental disorder that he feels is worth sharing in the hope that a cure can be found...and quick!
It all started with a question...what is it that makes a golf spectator (and yes it mostly occurs in the land of the Septics...but it is not a syndrome that affects a large percentage of the population) bark instructions at an inanimate object flying overhead in the hope it will listen and take their advice? Clearly these wizards of influence are what one marker calls, “finger tight”, but more commonly branded, “clinically insane”. Little white balls are not going to change their path when headed for a swim, just because Joe Spectator yells "get in the hole". Bogey wonders if these masters of persuasion use their “special” (and yes, bogey means don’t eat the paste special) gifts in other areas of their lives...barking phrases such as “get in my inbox” at their place of employment to the fury of their colleagues.
The more Bogey watches golf on TV, the more infuriated he gets by fans that have developed the rarest yet most annoying of golfing syndromes, Spectator Tourettes. How does Mickleson or Bubba (these rare humans tend to congregate around these two golfers) handle it...because Bogey is about to lose his shit the next time he hears “get in the hole”!? Maybe the only cure is limit people wearing a NASCAR shirt to the lounge room and not the fairways...but that could be the extreme.
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| Greenkeeper God Carl Speckler |
Inconsiderate Greenkeepers can ruin a great round. Are they just lawn jockeys trying to earn a buck, or are they something more sinister, secretly taking pleasure in watching you duck around the high pressure fairway sprinklers, pissed that they have to work on a Saturday? Essentially, who cares.
As a member, you’re paying their wages. Which gives you the right to hit balls at them if they mow greens through your round, and stamp on their sprinkler heads if they run them during your Saturday comp.
Share your worst Greenkeeper experiences by emailing Bogey (ozgolfaddict@gmail.com) !
Pokie reform could mean the end of golf?
Golf Australia's NSW CEO claims reform to the pokie machine trade meant that "golf as a sport may no longer be available to the masses". He claimed to be "distressed and bewildered" at planned legislation to limit pokie bets. The legislation, he claimed, could lead to the closure of the majority of golf clubs in this state.
We would put the above statements into the same bag as famed US Pastor, Harold Camping, who this week, predicted the end of the world incorrectly...twice!
Online vs Retail
The Bogey Golfer has noticed an increase in the number of articles warning on the perils of online shopping. So much so, that one appears each week in mags such as Pacific Golfer. Could it be that perhaps golfers have realised that they have been shafted " excuse the pun " for years on excessive prices, and online may now be the answer? Scare tactics regarding online shopping, with their obvious backers, will only work for so long. The Bogey Golfer holds a set of X24's and CG7's, both bought online, and paid less than half price for the same clubs sold retail... and no they are not copies!
Dickhead Members
Lost Balls
Dickhead Members
Bogey Golfer also had the unpleasant experience of being accused of not being a member, by a member he played with under a month ago. Is this acceptable behaviour from a fellow member ? Is the Bogey Golfer that forgettable? Or is it grounds for assault? Feel free to email us your thoughts (ozgolfaddict@gmail.com)
Lost Balls
It happens, we all hate it, but its the nature of the game. Whats an acceptable time frame to hunt for a ball? Two important factors. If its quiet, look as long as you like, of course you love your balls, and its going to hurt to lose them. If its busy however, you have 5 minutes, and you must search alone! There's nothing worse than standing on a tee while a hacker stamps around in long grass for a ball he's never going to find while his three mates watch on.... have some consideration, you hit the bad shot, now man up!... its what hackers do.
